Comfort Zone

The impossible,
unfolding

Hurts to see,
never thought that it would be

Have the faith
support

So badly I want to,
but past has taught me to
stand back
that having my guard up may be
what's best...

Can he blame me?

Or am I hurting myself
Should I enjoy what's here now,
since no one knows how long it will be this way

Feel like I'm in a movie,
as someone is scripting the "happy ending"

It's too much
too real
too soon

I don't know...

The only life I know is without him,
is being angry and torn apart

If he's attempting to get well...
Should I too?

Depression
Anxiety

I know I have fears and pain I need to confront

Been so close, but living in this fog
has become a comfort zone

The only comfort zone I've ever known

I know myself here
how to "survive" whatever that means today, in this moment

I feel entitled to this comfort,
to something
that in a twisted way this mess has become a security

Security--finally feel like I'm not losing myself,
my mind

Everyone deserves comfort and security
Shit has just made it so, this zone is mine.