I remember the tears I cried at such a young age,
in my room of pale pink walls
stuffed animals
and all a little girl could dream of
We had it all
We had what I long for now
What I attempt to not be envying my friends of
We had comfort
security
love
Nothings perfect,
but at that time...
I believed we were
Even on those nights that I cried to sleep
or that I ran from the kitchen, down the stairs to
"daddy's get away" to make sure you guys were OK
to stop the fighting...
That's all I wanted
No more fighting
Holding him
Holding her
Daddy's little girl
Mommy's sweet angel
The day it all came crashing down is one that replays in my mind
So long ago, yet I could still feel tension
The tears swell behind my eyes as if I was still that 10 year old girl
sitting criss cross apple sauce near the fireplace, with the smell of home cooked meals,
the security of mommy and daddy in the next room,
the joy of Sunday mornings all 5 of us together...
It was all slowly fading
I felt it
I knew it
Tension turned to excitement
She turned the permanent sadness
into a happy get away...
on the outside anyway
Inside I followed her plan,
although I knew this was it
I had already stopped recognizing
and feeling the change
It caught us,
it was like a cancer
The 5 of us,
had no more time to live
Let our new life begin
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